Quando entro ali, é como se estivesse dentro de um dos mais horrendos contos de Grimm.
Seres de todas as formas,
Criaturas fluídas, outras grotescas
Trolls com rosto de bebê
Bruxas maltrapilhas
Sombras, esqueletos.
Toda sorte de personagens
Um zoológico bizarro, uma turba de reptilianos médios.
Lugar pitoresco, causa ódio e desperta a curiosidade.
Infames criaturas.
Todas perdidas em fantasias toscas, todas querendo.
Arreganhando os dentes numa felicidade que dá medo.
Olhos arregalados, sorrisos distorcidos.
Angústia.
Tento abrir as portas, procuro as janelas.
Presa em fios de realidade comprada.
Correntes invisíveis, quero sair.
Desespero..

Doente
Muito doente
De alma esmagada
Espírito distorcido
Todos os sonhos
Estilhaços de imagens
Gritos
Doente
Doença escura
Que anula o corpo
Sorrisos cadavéricos
Abraçando seus mortos
Pedindo perdão
Doença essa que não contagia
Que sufoca
Lábios arroxeados
Olhos esgazeados
Quase inconsciente
Ninguém vai te receber do outro lado
Enjaulada no próprio corpo
Febril
Doente
Na sequência do tempo se perdeu
Agora vagueia entre as dimensões
Perdida,
Caminha pisando em nuvens
Cantando canções que nunca ouviu
Seus pés feridos são alegria
Ela colhe flores psicodélicas que exalam veneno
Atravessou o véu da realidade
Agora não existem mais máscaras
Elas apenas sorri angustiada
Doente
De uma sombra que a acolheu
Ela vai desaparecer sem marcas ou lembranças.
Louca.

Essa noite anjos baixaram suas asas sobre mim
Asas essas que me calaram por um minuto, um século talvez.
Me fizeram chorar por meus erros
Eu então mais uma vez calei meu espírito
Fechei meus olhos
Entendi
Suas asas me queimavam como se eu fosse um demônio
Me acolhiam
Tinha decidido
Queria o fogo
Mas os anjos me acolheram
Anjos caídos
Sujos
Todos me olhavam
Raios de luzes azuis cortavam o céu
Os anjos de luz me disseram coisas
Sussurravam histórias de amor e paz
Eu queria arder
Eles choraram por mim
Asas escuras batiam frenéticamente por mim
Aclamavam a dor
Eu queria mastigar minha consciência
Os anjos haviam me falado
Tudo seria diferente
Mentiras
Eu tentei me esconder
Tentei fugir
Ainda ouço no meio da noite
O bater sinistro de anjos na minha janela
Ainda ouço ruídos debaixo da cama
Ainda quero dormir para sempre.
E esquecer o brilho daquela estrela.

She wants to die
She wants the pain
loneliness
In her hand...the knife
Color red
Not enough to pass
Blood on the floor
Waiting the moment
When her will be close
Forever...like a dream
She will smile
A sad smile
No tears
No one to see her
A shadow in this place
She wants to die
No love in her fucking life
No one to say goodbye
Almost done
Last thought to him
Last whisper in shame
Hell
Fear
Clouds in the eyes
Trying to get back
No way
.......................

Envolta em sombras,
beijos ferozes,
a cama como refúgio.
Tudo que ela desejou.
Ele volta, de novo a faz sonhar.
Ele vem, doce, feroz,
gosta de olhar, de sentir o gosto,
ele brinca talvez.
Ela sonha com certeza.
palavras, cigarros, uma noite como poucas.
A cama quente não aplaca o frio medo da sua partida.
Ele irá,
ela chora.
Camimha silenciosa depois do café,
espera, sem palavras, sem sua presença.
Ela vai ficar doente de sonhos, vai se esconder e fingir que não se importa.
Mas sozinha, ela deseja a cada segundo.
Caminhos cruzados, distantes, tão próximos.
Tão solitários, tão fortes .
Um dia, sem cores, sem olhos, um dia ela não vai aguentar.

LITTLE ANGEL

Do not cling to me,
I might want to stay.
I can wish for your arms again,
Your false words spoken in the dark.
Do not cling to me,
I'm frail, I might want to run away.
I can desire the love that does not exist,
I can among the ashes of my existence want to rise again.
Do not cling to me, I do not exist,
Between dimensions I am an illusion.
Do not cling to my cigarettes, to the swearing I spit.
Do not say you like it,
A meaningless lie.
Do not cling to me, for between bottles of cheap wine I drown,
Between shadows and circle lights, in the undergrounds of hell,
In the sweet clouds of the sky.
I no longer cling to the dream of one day feeling the heat.
My mouth shut, my eyes hiding.
Do not cling to me.

LET ME DIE IN SEATTLE

CHAPTER I

  

The sirens blaring, rain, confusion, fallen man, wounded, blood being washed the sky, sitting on the curb, watching others, the drained hair on the face, dirty, full of scratches, cold, people talking around. Could not hear anything only the tumult, like a huge buzz even more stunning your aching head.

Saw it rise up the body on the stretcher, drenched in blood and rain, what happened really? The pain throughout body beginning to increase because of the cold, someone was speaking directly to her, could not pay attention, what happened there? Because they were taking the man in an ambulance?

Paramedics were asking something, she could not understand, just stared at the man who spoke and did not know why they were there or what had happened, why they were there? Was it really him she was seeing there, lying now in the ambulance receiving first aid? Your Friend.

Curious passed and stopped to observe, through the police and rescuers confusion.

- It must be a dream wake up soon.

Some images appeared in flashes in his head, screaming, people running, all very confusing, nothing made sense, then everything disappeared and she came back and watch the people around him talking, talking, and there it blankly, felt pain throughout the body, someone put a blanket around her shoulders, trying to lift her, she wanted to ask where they were going because it was there, but could not speak, I felt so much headache, had blood on his hands.

Dark.

He woke up at home, Eddie sitting in an armchair next to the bed where she lay.

Ah! Woke up, what was that all about? What happened this time?

-Where Is he?

-In The hospital, badly hurt, teeth pulled, one of the badly damaged eyes, and worst of all, the cuts on his wrists, was a violent attack.

 -I Can not even remember the right things ... I'm all sore ... I took too?

 -Oh fuck! How do I know? I only seek you, again talking to me, do not you?

 -Actually no ... my head ....

 I think you took some blows as well, what you were doing? Where they were going? That fag caused it?

-To Talking like that of Susy.

In fact she had passed was far greater than your mind could remember, perhaps the fear and the pain had blocked, had used the drug, and the effects were always a surprise, did not want to remember, every time was like.

After so long, the use of what already was a painful and distressing change, the psychological reactions were not the worst, physical mutation was the most difficult thing that it caused and in a certain way, a satisfaction that can not be described.

Only this time there was an oversight of the two, as they learned who they were, or that outside casual confrontation of common bandits?

His body was full of bruises, so much pain he could barely move, had some broken nails, realized that tufts of hair had been pulled, the head appeared to have been beaten to the ground several times, as well as possible.

Eddie approached her very angry and held her by the arms.

-More What the fuck! You will never stop this madness! Why? Continue this until when? Have you ever thought what will they do with you and now you know where we are going to start all over again ....

 - Calm honey, let's be more careful now.

-Now? Damn, you saw the state of that fag? We saw what they did to him? It was close, for very little this time.

-I know, do not really know, do not remember, do not know why this time I can not remember.

-Maybe some new effect of this shit.

-Could be, who knows ... I need some sleep, you can make all the dark?

-I need to leave, I will let you rest, try to put your head in dear place, this can not go on like this, things will get out of control, think about it.

She hugged him lovingly and kissed him with love, but she could see that her beautiful blue eyes were sadder than usual, eyes, which were for her a deep mirror of the soul of the man she loved so much, I loved more than anything. Let him leave.

He fell into a dreamless sleep, heavy and dark like that room.

When he woke up, no longer had sense of time, Eddie was there, as always, he smiled,

-Good Afternoon dear!

His smile was so charming that she could not help thinking with pain because he was doing all that because I could not leave all that aside madness, and live with his love only? The madness was part of his love, and he knew it too, maybe he loved her all this madness, and they lived together before, strange things, could no longer entertain a de facto separation. She wondered if he really loved her, or if only I used to take care of her as an older brother, thinking it was painful, imagine that your love was less made her suffer more than he could endure. His love for Eddie was intense.

-Made coffee dear, you hungry?

-I'm starving, how long did I sleep?

-Almost three days.

-All this?  Wow! This time exhausted everything he had even said it with a smile unmotivated.

-Yes, you risk unnecessarily.

-You Know it's not true, because I know I submit to it all.

Yeah I know, but you really believe it will be able to continue? Do you think you still need all this, all this pain, especially since the largest harmed are you?

-Yes, actually we were the losers larger and need to end all this, you can not think I could live all this shit with that memory punishing me, reducing me every time, you know that every time is more painful and dangerous You do not know?

-Darling ...

-Please do not ask me to stop now after all ... please ... I can not, now we can balance ourselves with this fucking shit ...

-Balance? Look what you spend each time you use this shit, all this pain, this horrible thing, you can call balance?

-From A way, yes, we have evolved a lot, do not you think?

-Yes, but every day it all gets worse, and the risks increase and you expose yourself, unnecessarily.

-All I do need love. Fanatics out there, every day increasing, like rats.

-Okay. Let's eat, let this matter and then then. Are you okay to go down?

-Yeah, I'm just in pain in the body of the blows I think, but I can go down.

Down to the meal.

Until with relish, eggs, orange juice, he had even bought chocolate cake for her, I knew to be her favorite. She still heartily, then went to the balcony of the house and lit a cigarette, smoked quietly, as if his life were that quiet and happy thing that time, wanted everything to sum up just so he could rest his head on your lap Love and be at peace and that all pain and memories that were so difficult load alone vanished forever

-Darling, to which led to Susy?

-I think that went to University Hospital because you are wanting to go there?

-Sure, I need to see it, knowing exactly what happened, check on him, see what he can remember, who were those guys do not know, need to know why they wanted to get us, if they were who I'm thinking.

-Yes dear, go to the hospital, you want to take a bath? If remake first?

-I think I'm in a terrible state does not it?

-They both laughed, because she really was not very stimulating aspect. He finished his cigarette, rose and went straight stop the shower for a long hot bath and relaxing, really needed it.

At the hospital he was already awake with a start, the body aches, the needles stuck in his arms, the noise of the machines monitoring his body left him more frightened still, he was alone in a ward or ICU, did not know what it was, his real name was Roberto, but being homosexual throughout their lives received various nicknames and Susy was one of the most used even for him.

Knew  needed to get out of hospital quickly,  could not let them do deeper examinations in their blood, or anything more comprehensive, which could identify any anomalies, began to pluck the needles, jumped up, dropped the small bedside table that was on the side the bed, which made him even more frightened, his despair was such that he began to feel the metamorphosis of pain beginning, could not happen here at all, cold sweat, violent rage surfacing, could feel the skin tugging, not could not believe that was going to happen there, it was not possible, how long would that place? Does anyone know he was in that hospital, someone would be watching his bedroom? Lately the city was dangerous for people like him, there was much persecution, and murder against his, or even against the girls and boys from the streets.

He fell to the ground feeling the common pain of transformation, kneeling tried to maintain control, began to breathe slowly, keep the slower blood flow, to try to block the whole thing needed to get out, where were his clothes?

-My God! That hatred, my clothes, where are my fucking clothes?

He spoke through his teeth, trying to control himself, found his clothes stored in a small closet near the bedroom bathroom door, put them quickly anyway, opened the door a crack to see what the hospital corridor situation, as was the movement of people, closed the door again, searched for windows, saw that he could leave the windows began to open a to see if it yielded easily, but could get out there, but what if the saw out the windows? Better even the door, opened the door slowly, saw that the movement was small in the hospital corridor, tried to get out of ordinary way, disguising the pain already could control, walked slowly looking for an exit, found a side door with a distracted safely your cell phone, walked past him without him lifted his eyes to see who it was.

Sighed in relief, he was in the street, I knew I could not find him so easily.

Because Penny did not come to pick me up? Well, I do not know he showed up or not, just woke up now, those sons of bitches almost put an end to me, that bafon. I need to call her.

The couple was in search of his friend in the hospital. When they arrived, they were informed that he was no longer in the room, and no one could tell what had happened, she in turn, knew that he had fled a relief to know that he had woken up and realized the need to get out, to where he would have gone?

-Does He went home Eddie?

-Honey, let's calmly, the best thing to do is go back and wait for news, you know that it will make contact.

-Yes, let's go back, I'm worried.

-They took the car, when she was entering the car felt she was being watched, there was a guy across the street, a sinister kind, bald, big guy, she knew she had already seen where you? She tried to quickly enter the car. Old pictures came quickly causing chills, moments that she would not remember anymore.

-Let's leave soon, I'm too busy to stay here.

-Hey! Calm woman! What is it!

-Sorry, just go away. Every day this place is strange is not it?

-Get in the car, let's go home.

-Eddie, do you think were the faces of the church? Even at other times?

-Could be, I understand that their religion is already installed here in the city for some time.

-Does Came after us again?

-Probably, this will never end, know who created this mess does not care one bit of tidying things.

-Not Quite, things are not so simple.

-Well, you'll always be partial in relation to it does not it?

-Eddie said with an edge of anger and jealousy.

-The Question is not this simply is not anyone's fault, it was something that happened between them, and then the other one started it all ... all this madness ... a war.

-All Right, let's not discuss it because we will never have the same vision, it is impossible for me.

-Darling arrives, I need the Susy news.

Roberto tried to get around the more empty streets, knew his appearance drew attention, his face was full of bruises, swollen, trying to go unnoticed, it was not easy, he began to seek the peripheral streets, where people often not look twice at strange types for fear of being recognized.

Thanked the cold and the rain was constant in that city, I could curl up in a scarf that was found in the hospital and "had borrowed" it helped to better hide your face, there were still a few hours to dark, the night would be easier to walk without be seen, to know if she had wanted, or even if she was alive, remembered what had done to her, she took both, were three beating him if he was not mistaken. Trying to divert the attention of those guys from her friend, what they would not do with it and if caught they could take it? Will do it?

-I need to find that crack, I need to call her or to the guy. Started looking for a pay phone, your phone was not with her when things escaped from the hospital.

He found a pay phone, dialed, waited several rings, nobody answered. Despair.

-Oh fuck! If caught her, will force, will hurt for real, will be worse than before, I hope she has done better than me.

-Love, Give me your cell phone, I forgot my home.

-He searched the pockets of his leather jacket.

-Shit, did not bring mine too.

-Damn it Eddie, let's go home soon, to Susy is trying to communicate with us she'll be worried not knowing what's going on, he should be trying to connect the phone.

-Calm down, we're getting.

-Okay.

The nervousness was so intense that the couple could not talk, he drove nervously, she smoked a cigarette nearly crushing the filter between your fingers without realizing it, his hands were shaking. Eddie came home parked anyway the car, went almost running when Eddie was unlocking the door might notice a shadow in the trees, there was someone there, but made no comment so as not to alarm her even more.

-Well, lock the door dear, please, let all locked up, you can check the windows upstairs?

- Of course, be quiet, okay? It's okay closed, I took care of everything before we left, but I'll check again.

- Where's my phone, which is ...

She found the device in the kitchen on the counter near the stove, there were five calls from a number she did not recognize.

- Must be a number of pay phone, should be Susy.

He tried his phone, was played by there too, plus another amount of calls another number.

- He must be calling from different places to not stay long standing, and now, now what?  Susy, gives me a favor by new signal!

- It's all enclosed, locked properly, can stay quiet baby.

- Thank you, dear, she hugged him with fear, his body comfort it was a great relief to her, every time she suffered those transformations, everything was so sore and painful, every time, when the thing ended, her only refuge were the arms of his love, the strength of his affection, enough to cause her to again receive control.

- Thank you my love, thank you really for still being here with me, I confess that this time I am afraid, like never felt before, I saw a man watching us when we were leaving the hospital, I know you know, I've seen him before, he me looking straight in the eye, despite being of sunglasses, very sinister, they are near dear, very close ...

- Hey, calm, calm, it may have been a mess you're nervous scared. He knew she was right, he could still see the guy in the trees outside.

The night was coming, the news no, she was restless, walked from side to side, looking for something to distract, but nothing really absorbed his attention, took out a cigarette, went to the kitchen, used to smoke in the pantry when it was very cold to smoke on the balcony nervously lit a cigarette, the hand tremor was constant, she had noticed, thought it was a nervousness account, but it was a constant physical reaction a few days up here, took a shot of whiskey, to see if I could at least relieve tremor.

- You should not drink honey, should seek to use fewer drugs.

- I know that, but I also know I've never been a nun, and I need to relax a little, I want to see if this crap help me.

- Ok, come love, sit with me in the room, you can smoke there even gave one of his best smiles to break that tension, it seemed worked.

- My hands will not stop shaking, is an effect of all this shit?

- You probably know that the consequences are unknown, you know the price you are paying.

- I know, we sold our souls is not it? Or rather, she was kidnapped me.

- And now there is no other way exists?

- No, now there is yet another way.

-We have to keep the thing got out of hand because of those religious cursed, they are poisoning people, trying to make the time of barbarism back, want to dominate the fear, want to use "divine" power to control the mass fear, of course, is always the best way to control it are turning people into violent creatures, we have to try to eliminate these bastards.

- Sorry baby, he hugged her, but it's all so painful, so much suffering ... I do not get sick ... this struggle, all of this ... I'm sorry. He turned on his heel and went upstairs leaving her alone in the room that now seemed cold, isolated, she looked around and felt the ice, the tremor growing inside your body, the urge to cry and never stop, took another cigarette, he knew his body was suffering rampant destruction, a cigarette the most, would make no difference even.

Roberto finally come to the side of the famous district known to be prostitution area, where he knew the people who receive, they had everything ready for him always. Were transvestites who worked for trifles, most often had sex in exchange for a handful of "flour" smell, and did it all night, every time the dust ended, go in search of another customer willing to give them anything in exchange for a nickel or a little dust.

- Hey fagot, what they did to you? Ended up with the face of the beautiful, that beautiful has nothing, the group laughed, coexistence between the transvestites was cruel, because they lived on competition in the search for clients, but actually were a family, that ended up supporting their mode.

- Look fagot, I must stay here, took me hopeless, I can not go around giving the air of my grace.

Roberto had to make it appear to the group of transvestites, who had caught a group of men who were doing sex with him and using drugs, transvestites did not know quite what happened, if only because they would be in real danger if they knew something more and he would not put them at risk, were poor wretches, who dragged in life, depending on the powder undergoing sexual violence to get daily doses of drugs, that's what led to life, nothing else, offered no danger.

- Look fag

- we will go out to meet each bofes the avenue, you stay here, you dust it or not, has wine for lady upset all you want, is at ease.

- Thank you Margot, Mrs. destroys exchanged affectionate kisses, transvestites came out, mounted his flashy clothes cheap prostitutes, neither men nor women.

Roberto was there alone, was destroyed in a large old house, a sort of ancient ruin with several empty and unclean rooms, only a few spaces were occupied, there was a TV, a double bed with a mattress that stank of sweat and mildew , opened the small cabinet near the sink and found a box where her friend transvestite had indicated where it was dust, took the box, reached double row on the table by the bed, smelled the two with a cut straw, poured a glass of that wine cheap, began looking for cigarettes in an agitated manner, could not do without cigarettes now, but could not get out to get some, found a package in the same cabinet, good! Kindled in the stove, I had not seen the lighter.

The venom now circulating in your veins leaving him shaken and stunned, could only smoke and feel the chemistry shaking his body, the drug reacted violently, was more dangerous. Left the TV tuned in a musical clips canal, was going through a rock concert, I could lie down to let the whole thing circulating in the blood, more and more, every new shot fired.

The night went smoothly, despite the tension, she fell asleep, restless sleep, could rest. Woke up it was still early, his love slept peacefully, the sleep of pure, those who are light or angels, as she loved him!

Gently lifted the bed not to wake him down the stairs, the house was all dark except for the central corridor, she liked to keep lit for night orientation, as he liked to say. Walking around the house now, he realized he had not seen her cats yet, where would?

He went to the room, stood a while in the middle of that huge room not daring to move, felt right oppression coming from the windows, wanted to look outside, but did not dare, I was afraid to see someone watching the house. The intense cold of the season made her depressed, heard the rain falling constantly, began to approach the window, better not look.

He sat in that great cozy couch she had chosen to complete the decoration of the house he loved, the first house where he was truly happy where he could live with his love, without having someone living together, loved that place, sought their cigarettes, saw its magic box, yes, let him then his magic box was where he kept his tobacco, prepared its based, this thing had an awesome power to control and open your mind, used to use when he needed to go further, at other times like this night would be just to relax yourself, let the substance run in your blood to your wonderful calming effect intoxicating delight that she always liked that.

It was one of the few things she brought from the old country, where had needed from after Scott had appeared, his memories of that land were confusing and divergent, felt hatred and joy of those times, of his bizarre and harrowing childhood, then a controversial and rebellious adolescence, where it all began, the memories came back, wanted now enter the magical sleep, yes, delicious sleep that based provides ... .vou from to where no one can find me now, snuggled at the same couch, always had a blanket over there at that time, let dear, it's time to leave We need to talk now, was the voice she wanted to hear, that was waiting so, yes ... let's go ..fell a deep sleep.

Roberto decided he would be there, was away and quiet, would contact yes but needed a break, needed to see also what was happening, I knew that the people handling flow occurred more in poor and remote areas in third world countries mostly, but here in this city that had taken so long to learn to like and understand, had observed that there were mutations, involution occurred there he knew he needed information, I would give it a whirl, talk to the transvestites, whores street the trophic and see what rolled, knew all there was his natural environment, had come from a similar place to that in Brazil invariably headed there when he needed to hide or get information, was his favorite place, like true to see this thing in the underworld. People never understood when he spoke how much he loved to see everything, misery, poverty, violence, he loved it, for it was real life, was what moved his will, he enjoyed staying there days, drugging, pack some guys and have sex with one, or two, and forget what was coming, get that filthy protection.

Her friend was the only person who accepted without question, at first she avoided appearing with him in these places, he said he reminded her too much of Brazil, after she used to go with him there and made those filthy parties, spent days doing drugs, smoking drinking, she had not had sex with anyone, Penny was at that point very selective, like crazy and delicious men, so he had to admit, she always had the best, but after Eddie, she went on to not think about it, his madness was expressed in all that did not involve sex, he thought his friend was crazier than him at that point.

- So my dear! How long. Roberto was addressing a violent aspect of man, a drug dealer who was known to her, Roberto used to do sexual favors for him in exchange for drugs, sometimes in exchange for nothing at all, he liked without sex trade.

- Tell me, has appeared strange people around here?

-No, you do not, see if it brings me mess over here motherfucker.

-Easy Johnny, I do not bring anyone here you know, just that my friend.

-I know, that delight, for she walks? I wanted to get that blonde and give a fuck with her. Breaks this to your friend here huh fag, then I like you.

           -'My love, that crack is not like that, she has the craziness of it, but with bofe, she only has her nor dreams baby, her business here and only "disturbance", she comes here because here no one finds it.

-I know, but if I took it, fucking tasty, got horny when she see here, a cato hour it in a corner to force haha.

- Guarantee you'll regret it if you do Johnny. He laughed, just imagine what she could do with that traficantezinho shit if I did the mutation in front of him as he tried to rape her, it would be funny to see.

-Johnny, That our deal, if they appear here are different guys, you need to tell me or warn the blonde, understand?

-Yes, i understand, the hot already sent the money, as well as hot is rich, one day I'll get it for a joke.

-Forget it this face, this woman will never be yours, what the fuck.

-Stay Fag cold, I will not mess with your little friend, for now, I have a thing for her, but if I decide, I'll have it for real, no one will stop me.

-Oh yes, you know who, but she herself can answer that if I decide to attack, my dear.

Roberto has turned with his back to such a dealer, but was stopped by the same:

-What Are you trying to say with it its tail shit?

Roberto shook his head in an ironic and arrogant.

-Loose my arm! His shit, already felt the adrenaline is changing in the blood, increasing the pulse, the boy seemed to have noticed any changes to Roberto because began to loosen the grip on his arm reluctant to get so close so that gay so strange , that was the truth, Johnny always thought this very odd fag, from day one that had appeared, it was not like other circulating or living there, this was a more reserved type, silent, aggressive even, was smarter than others, not kept the streets making inexpensive programs for drugs.

He came from time to time, sought the usual place to stay and use their drugs, and it was a lot of drugs, that he knew, arranged some kids to have fun, he used to leave the tail suck your dick, it was good. But when the tail came with that friend, oh boy, the world stood still, after the woman? To this day he did not know, she sent money to them, a lot of money, so you protect your friend and herself, did not know anything about her, just coming to the district is stuck in that house, was days too, said she would be drugging together with fagots, he could not even imagine it, that princess, so serious, quiet, always half-hidden, he spoke only to some people, said she was louquíssima, Johnny could not believe she wanted, always wanted from day one.

-A Princess day ... one day ...

-Okay, man. Roberto cut your thoughts, I need to stay a few more days here, I can not get out, get me more dust, leaves there in the house, you know that's already included in the pay packet, do not you?

-I know yes, their dust in a momenre there.

-Thank you dear, if you can go there after also do a nice blowjob for you.

-Maybe.

Now who turned and gone was the trafficker, Roberto decided to return to the house, I had to call her. He walked actually almost running, she was being watched, maybe not, maybe it was the scouts the streets. Arrived, he found the phone he had asked to be purchased, started dialing.

-Meets Splits, he grumbled, as he listened to the phone ring tone, attended.

-Hello.

-Princess!

-Susy! It was a cry of relief. I can not believe! Good, I was waiting for you, because it took so long, you do not know how and was desperate? Fuck! Why did not you call me before, what the fuck!

-Hey! What the fuck? Let me talk shit!

-Sorry, I'm desperately waiting for your contact.

-I know, let me talk'm here, you know, since the day I left that hospital paura I fled from there, I was afraid someone comes, who were they? You know? We need to talk about them, I'm here since that day, me "Barging"'m crazy, do not know how'm still alive, are you going to come? You'll need a few days here with me, will not give it to arrive and leave on the same day, it is risky.

-I'm going, yes, I'll meet you there, today, later, I will ask to Eddie let me closely, you will need to send the transvestites get me instead of always ok?

-Sure baby, as always, has refueled the hovel of "disturbance" the lady will disappear from the radar for a few days, his breeder warns it will take.

-It's already used to.

-Oh good! Until after then.

She felt suddenly tense, wondering who would have to tell your love would have to leave it for several days. He knew that this was happening, she had already done it numerous times, I was distressed to leave him, needed. Well, it was.

-Darling, the Suyi just called me.

-Ah finally, where is he?

-Where is always, in the ghetto, I will go there tonight.

-Why? Is it really necessary?

-I need after all that, to talk to him, we need to look and see what we do, and this can not be done here.

-And how will it be?

-Darling, as we have done every time

-Okay, you'll be out for how long?

The look he gave her when asked that question was so sad and tired that she almost cried.

-I do not know, days, maybe a week.

-Oh, how I hate all this! Eddie got up from the chair he was sitting, walked around the room, running her hands through her hair, so seductive, that simple gesture, she almost gave up everything just to look, but could not.

-Love, Look at me, she was at her side now, trying to look him straight in the eye, the only way he knew to leave it safe, was speaking directly to the eyes.

-Listen, I need, you know, I need to see Susy, and decide what do we do now that we found again, now the plot thickens again understand?

-Yes I know it dear, but I'm afraid for you.

-My Love. He said embracing it fondly.

- I'm more dangerous than all of them together, you know. He smiled without spirit,

-Yes, I know, but still, it's my girl.

-Stay Calm, there are safer than anywhere in this world, all that banditry protects us in the end.

-What Is nevertheless ironic, is not it?

-Yeah maybe, but long since stopped thinking about the irony of life, I will go up to take a shower, get precise, you take me then, instead of forever?

-I Hope here.

-She rose, her head was spinning, and now, what to do? To where they were going, they would have to leave that place? Bathed trying to enjoy the warmth of the water and not think about anything, just feel the comfort of the moment.

-Left home in a relaxed way, she carried nothing that would indicate a trip or delay in return, who would see that they were going out to dinner.

-How ever, we go to the market, go to the bathroom, the same scheme, the transvestites will be waiting for me.

-That's Right.

Already on the market, could not dismiss the way you would like, she just looked at him, tears flowed eyes of those she loved, her heart raced, horrible pain as he turned his back and left him without looking back like it was just a moment.

Outside, a car was waiting, she already knew, came in.

Hello girls, were two boys, soberly and elegantly dressed, the two were very beautiful, with fun flying.

- Splits, you took, we were getting beige with a delay, thinking that something had gone wrong.

-No, just could not separate me from Eddie ... too hard.

-Every time it is, relax, let's go, the lady will be so crazy now that will not even remember it. They laughed, trying to distract her from that situation was always tense for everyone. They were transvestites, who always helped her and Roberto, knew the risks, and rightfully so much liked to do all that, the money that rolled out, of course, always had plenty of money on the go and a lot of drugs. She knew very well manipulate everyone and everything around you. My God! How can I do this with all these people? I used to think that at certain times, fuck it, it's too late to think about it.

-Come on kids, let's play with adult jokes, she laughed, but really just wanted to be numb to think of Eddie, that was all he felt, pain. The pain of remembering those eyes in the market begging so changes so she would not leave him again.

Got where Roberto was waiting for them, the place looked even slightly tidy, smelled unless she could remember, things were less dirty. Roberto realized that his friend looked around noticing it, and as he walked her to the embrace as expected, said:

-Find a little, for you do not feel so bad, and hugged her tightly, almost in tears of despair.

-Susy! My dear, I needed so much to see you, see how he was, because it took so long to make contact?

-She could not leave her friend, as if it would guarantee that he would not leave her side anymore.

-Dear, When I left the hospital, was all broken, a terrible thing to see, you have to come hiding, not to attract attention, look at me, I'm still black and blue, he showed his face bruised her friend, broken teeth, swollen eyes.

-Let's fix that need your face baby.

-Yes we will, but we'll talk about everything, now we have our friends here, let's do a little party to celebrate, right girls?

-Sure! They said the two transvestites in unison, they were all eager to start.

Roberto went to the cupboard, took a beautiful wooden box carved, inside it was a bag of powder in an amount sufficient to days of consumption, he began to stretch several white careers in a glass tray that had bought it specifically all began to get restless before you even start to suck that poison, each had himself a cut straw to customize the use of the substance. It was the last, everyone was with cigarettes, wine glasses in hand talking about everything and nothing, she looked so stretched that white line, and seemed indecisive,

-What Is it, do not you?

-Is this not, I was just thinking, ducked and once aspired all, to raise his head, his gaze had already acquired a fierce glare, had forgotten his love, now was that evil creature of fact, did not have to control.

-A Cigarette.

-Here, His glass of wine, the strangest of the whole scene, that miserable ruin, which despite being a large place, extremely poor, she had sent them to buy, crystal glasses, small glass trays, small things she He liked to wear even when his mind was projected elsewhere. He smoked his cigarette disconnected form actually was not thinking about anything.

-Makes the other for me.

-To All of us dear.

-All followed by a new round of dust.

-How are things here?

-By far so good, already probed everything, talked to those in need, that's okay, they will not find us here, did not know this place is quiet.

-I hope so, pull from that day, I do not have a second's peace, can not sleep, what happened? I do not remember, after they surrounded us, I do not remember anything else, only then when they were taking you to ambulance mess.

-More Shot?

-Yes

-Well, do not say I know exactly what happened, I got both of those sons of bitches, if the police had not come out of nowhere, I do not know.

-Well, now we can not talk very much with our visits, they are calling us, we will.

-Were to meet the other two transvestites in another room, began conversations meaningless in most meaningless, all fully affected by the drug, all with that grotesque twinkle in his eye.

-Fag, I need to have sex, you know how I get when I'm "perturbed" going away "hunt down a breeder.

-I'm going with you, I'm also wondering, in fact it's time for us to work does not it darling?

-The other travesty began to pick up their coats and gather their things to leave.

-Girls, thank you once again.

-You Can count on us, the lady is a scandal, they laughed nervously.

-Give to him a little powder to take them.

 Already with them.

- Okay.

-Soon dear, parted with quick kisses, stiff movements, and forced smiles because of the chemical effects of the drug.

-Even though they were, I need you to call him here.

-The Lady is serious? And his beloved Eddie?

-One Thing has nothing to do with it, Eddie is not part of it, you know that "he" is part of our life and how I need.

-Yeah I know, it should come soon, I knew I was going to ask me that, I'll leave two bofinhos arranged to meet, I will "do" them. We came a knock at the door.

She felt her heart skip rampant, it was Scott, he was a monster like her who lived there longer than her as a monster, a wonderful man, physically so sexy, with a body so deliciously perfect, full of tattoos, glare so fierce behavior as his eyes with a husky, seductive voice, it was so powerful and evil as her, and she needed him as much as he her, he was its creator, so to speak, her Roberto and his brother.

-Hello Scott.

-Hello, he approached her and has held her by the waist as she pulled her hair tightly kissing her, it made her mad, he was violent, and that she loved, was completely submissive, he knew that was what she liked. After kissing her tightly and leave it alight ready to jump on him, he let go, went to the table, stretched, four shots cocaine, inhaled two, offered her, which she accepted, returned the kiss -la, already taking off his clothes, she was ready.

Scott stuck his hand between her legs and felt that she was completely wet, gave a cynical smile,

-Ready, as I like.

She could not speak, such is the excitement that was dominating.

He threw the mattress, finishing plucking her panties and began to rub her, she almost screamed with delight, and saw him opening his pants, already shirtless, that perfect body, her poor face the maddened, Scott turned to back force, very open her legs and penetrated her violently, she screamed, he groaned, so like, and penetrating continued with increasing force, she thought she was going to die there, finally he slowed the pace a little, left inside, up, went up to it and returned to the powder tray, stretched several careers of the drug, and left on the bed, turning to grab her tightly, she was on all fours on the bed, he forced her head against bed crushing.

-Snort, Bitch.

Scott pulled her by the hair, still inside her, penetrating without stopping forced to smell the powder, it was too good, she felt she would burst with pleasure, violence Scott was frightening, and she loved it, I never knew what wait.

-Snort another, come, snort

Being penetrated hard, he stretched the dust on his back and smelled her body without taking his cock inside, she would go mad as it was all good, he finally forced her to suck it until he enjoyed in his mouth and forced her to swallow everything, she almost fainted then, no one could do anything like that, she was addicted to this violence.

Scott got out of bed, put on his pants, sexy and distracted way, went to the table, prepared more dust careers, aspired two more, took the tray to the filthy mattress where she was still stretched, exhausted and broken, delighted with the that brutal violence and beautiful man, he practically forced her to smell the powder, she blindly obeyed, it was always like that, if he forced her to crawl across the floor to lick their shoes she would, without thinking, the pleasure she felt in to undergo it was inexplicable, and he had full control of that fact, so always acted in brutal and domineering way he liked it, dominate people was an art he performed very well.

Scott, was not limited to gender, he appreciated the beauty, the power to dominate the creatures, like men and women, but she, for centuries was their special protected creature, that he would crush if I could, because just as He liked to hurt her, liked yet to see the pleasure she felt being with him.

-So Girl, he lit a cigarette, it was almost obscene doing this, she already felt like fucking him again.

-What Happens, time to escape again? Problems? And that your cute little toy? When you go I borrow it for a while?

-Stop it, you will never touch your fingers on it, they referred to Eddie, you know.

-I know, yes, he smiled arrogant, he's your particular toy, I would do some damage with it.

-Stop About it! She was angry for real, could not accept that Scott was referring to his love that was so common form, she lived with him had nothing to do with all this junk, it really could not imagine or dream what really happened, all violence, all drugs, sex, mixtures, changes, it was only a superficial view of things, but never witnessed this part, ever.

-Forget it, my question to you is another, never touch in his name.

-I know delight, he pulled her by the hair tightly, it was enough to make her fully aroused, he ran his tongue over her breasts, she thought she would go mad, his breath began to accelerate, she realized violence accumulating it, and that made her even more mad, the painful bites that was beginning to feel her breasts were enough for her to be ready again.

-Completely obedient now understand? I spoke to forcing to the ground, pulling her hair tightly.

-Again, a delicious rough sex.

WHO I COULD BE

It could be what they expect from me.
She could smile all the time with her mouth open in a fearful happiness,
I could certainly try to please everyone and thus reduce myself to nothing.
I could.
I could pretend to accept everything by resignation of fate,
I could thank you and offer the other side.
Could.
But as a cruel joke I was made with a spirit full of rage, full of indignation.
So I could keep quiet and say it's okay.
But the blood that circulates in my veins, they say to be cold, great deception.
She could cry in secret, and that way no one would know.
But I scream and scratch the walls.
I tear my skin and cause astonishment.
Could be what they expect,
But I prefer not to.

Num dia de nuvens de chumbo que pesavam e faziam sentir o medo de existir.
Com passos largos, um cigarro pra acalmar a ansiedade ....ansiedade de uma vida sem sentido...sem esperança...mãos machucadas....
Todos os dias deixava a mente nublada em álcool para aplacar a raiva....distância de amores...conversa vazia...não precisava de muito...tudo que precisava, era deixar as ondas de loucura invadirem....passos incertos
a deixaram no chão, com as chaves nas mãos....sem volta...o corpo retorcido de forma cruel...dor e medo, seus últimos companheiros...
de longe sentiu que algo estava errado...mensagens de amor e tristezas estampadas... não conseguia acreditar...
Misto de maldade e solidão....

He appeared out of nowhere, in the case, at random, with sympathy and lightness.

She slowly surrounded her, said things,

  She asked questions and she knew him, or so she imagined.

Little by little she wanted him.

Gradually he showed his love

Slowly he hid and despised her.

Each day he showed his affection and attention

A new lie he put in his heart.

She is devastated, aimless,

Why did he want her?

Why then did you coward?

And now, she is lost, confused, with hatred,

Life has to go for a while,

Soon they will bump, she will show that she adores him,

He will never touch it once,

In a hurry they said things that could not be lies, why would they?

Why would he act like that with her?

She only wanted his affection in miles and miles,

But the scorn made her plunge into an endless sea of sadness.

And now she hates him with so much desire, that her body burns,

She hates him, with all the love she could hate.

Good morning dear,

 I'll wait for you with a cup of hot tea in the morning ...

 at night your dark beer in an inexpensive glass ....

 the fog that covers your eyes prevents me from seeing me .. ..

. erase the memory of sweets Words ... you'll be mine forever .... run away, erase everything I said ... some words when spoken ... cant be taken back .... cold drops warm the heart .... the wind takes me ... pulls away .... I seek, I hope .... the life turns ... the eternal return .... always be mine .... hate me .... wish me ....  humil me..... the turns of life .... I will always be the one that appeared and made you feel ..... after that only the empty streets ... waiting for the train .... your dark beer awaits you In the warmth of tables smelling old wood and old-fashioned lampshades.

Ela sabe que não, mas insiste, enquanto toma vinho em um copo barato, costuma se lamentar e deixa passar.
                                       (Lady Byron)